Therapy is not always the answer for our children. Sometimes they’re being coerced and controlled to say horrible things about us - to buy into the false narrative - even if only to survive. They’ve seen what happens to people who do not acquiesce or align with the abuser. What can you do? Assess whether or not the therapist is going to validate the child’s feelings or is going to help the child with critical thinking. It’s better to have no therapy than to have a therapist validate a child’s fa
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Therapy should help — but when a child is living under coercive control, therapy can sometimes do harm if the clinician doesn’t understand the dynamics at play. Many therapists are excellent. Many are not trained in coercive control. When a therapist unintentionally validates the abuser’s narrative, it increases confusion and injury for the child — and for you. Children need clear teaching about boundaries, agency, and healthy vs. unhealthy relationships. Sometimes that means pausing therapy unt
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