Before social media rose up to feed us the latest in-jokes, a staple of late-'90s television made history by featuring one of the internet's first memes.

Riho Maruyama tells PEOPLE finding her daughter in the position she was in was "not totally out of character" ...

"I thought for a second I was gonna get beaten up by Ray Donovan in a parking lot. Liev, if you see this, I'm legit sorry, ...

This is a real compendium of mom life troubles - from babies and their sharp nails lovingly scratching your face to blaming your farts on them; no topic is beyond limits in these mommy quotes.